she is no more 'M3'

From the first day we meet i told myself not to continue to play.... but it did not help at 'ALL'

I LOVE HER very very very much!!! I LOVE HER.... the pass me is a jerk i would say myself..... i love u but i'm still going for other girl..... but the answers from all girl when i asked them that question they will tell me..... sorry i'm not the girl you want joel or zheng hong or so whatever... she will continue saying you can get a better girl..... better than me.... well for the pass me i would feel nothing cause i'm still playing.... but now i started to have feelings......

i would apologize to those who i just ask for the sick of having you....... but now i'm not i asked this question and i want a positive answer.... i would say only 3 girls i'm goin after untill i can't concentrate a single thing.... well no mention names here..... my closest friend would know who they are..... and recently i tell myself i got to do better..... i need to set up everything and let her come into my world......

but i failed... from form5 until now i'm only wanted to go after you.... and to plan the rest of my life i'm walking with you.... before that i'm praying to god that if the timing is right... please bless me to have a relationship with 'you' and now i don't think this prayer i going to continue to have it in my prayer list......

i try my best to think all the ideas i have to suprise u when it's your birthday... when that day came i found out that i don't really know you..... i don't know you cannot get close to flowers..... and as a stupid me i brought a rose for you..... and a necklace....... i plan to propose when i gave u the suprise... but i failed ... i didn't get myself ready..... and i wanted to have a closer relationship..... what a foolish me.....

and recently i know that you don't really like food or drink that in-line with beans..... but a 'clever' me gave you a black bean soya.... oh gosh.... *need some help here*... in the same day i still found out that u can't stand the smell when people smoked... [i'm trying to avoid] somemore you cannot take strong fragrance....

how can a boyfriend don't know a single things of yours?? if I'm, i am in serious shit..... sometimes you feel that u treat me bad but what to do i'm willing..... isn't love is part of our sacrifice?? i mean in phisical... like time and money.... but i'm willing how about you?? i have putted you as the most important person thats sitted in my heart... but where am i in your heart?? 1 to 10 where am i?? if u would to ask me this question... i would say you're more than that....

i treat you like how i treat a girlfriend.... i'm trying my best to ..... but it seems that you can't feel it.... behind of it i suffer many.... patient.... patient.... and patients..... i waited but someone jumped my Q.... wherever i am... i think of you.... would u ever think of me?? on the bed before you sleep?? i don't think so.... after i had my good night prayer with the lord i think about my love ones..... you're included .... and u always pop out as the first one.....

the sweet smile that i cannot ever ever ever forget from you.... the cute character that i cannot forget.... the way you talk / the style you talk that i cannot forget.... the emotional face that i cannot forget..... everytime i think about those happy moment it seems to be just a few minute.... but the sads one coming out one by one .... maybe i think too much or i loved you to 'deep' and i can bearly pull myself out.....

in the car i asked u one question... 'do you have a boyfriend now??' i asked..... you answered yes... to be honest my heart broke.... when i would to comfirm..... and u say yes... i'm total lost..... a tears came down form my eye.... and i asked myself again.... why should i drop a tear?? i should wish her to have a life-long relationship right?? i should be happy right?? but eventually i'm not at all..... i wish you will not click in to my blog and view this post..... even i got the chance i missed it... or i don't deserve to have a chance..... everything i would say is too late......